"Paul Revere was a dentist"

-"we need to go smoke i almost didn't come home tonight"
-"why?"
-"i almost got hit by a car"
-"were you embarrassed?"
-"why would i be embarrassed for almost getting killed, i was fucking shaking for 5 minutes"
-"so i'm working sunday morning"
-"......................."
-"next week i have 3 days off!"
-"......................"
-"you don't care?"
-"......................"
-"why aren't you talking to me?"
-"....................."

Anyways, i don't want to be dramatic or anything like that. This isn't a post dedicated to my "near death experience"
I was never asked what happened so this is what happened

coincidentally enough i was listening to the song "runaway" by yeah yeah yeahs, and i came to the end of the street and i saw a car so i waited to see if he was going to let me cross or not.
And i'm usually always extremely careful crossing streets, ever since i was really little, ever since some boy named Chase got hit stepping out from behind 2 parked cars, and he lived at the end of my block. I'm also extremely terrified of death i have an unhealthy obsession with thinking about death and when i'm going to die and how in graphic detail in nearly every possible situation, just all the time. So this guy stops for me and i am crossing the street, about half way across i dunno like next thing i knew i was scrambling to get myself 10 centimetres back because a black car turning from the other direction came out of no where it just like... came out of no where it hit my side bag i dunno i must have good reflexs i guess or maybe it just wasn't "my time to die" it was just like ohh so this is how people die. it just happens, it just comes out of no where. I don't even understand how i jumped backwards a few times fast enough to escape getting completely ran over like i don't understand and whatever i'm sure people ALMOST get hit by cars all the time it's no big deal i dunno i just keep replaying it perfectly and how i don't know how i'm okay like there are so many factors that could have been different and i could just be like dead, or have brain damage. He didn't even fucking see me, he didn't even notice he didn't even know what he almost fucking did he was asian on his fucking cell phone, i was looking right at him when i noticed the head lights and he didn't even see me. And i guess the guy who originally stopped was yelling out his window for him to stop and when i just missed it i was just standing there i watched the black SUV drive away, wondering if he would stop maybe i dunno nope he didn't i was like what just happened what the fuck is wrong with that guy like were you TRYING to kill me i don't know so i was standing there and then realized the guy in the car who stopped was trying to talk to me so i turned around and he asked me if i was okay and he asked me if i saw that he was on his cell phone and he asked me if there was any way i got his licence plate number and i said no and he didn't drive away and said to "be careful for jack asses he didn't even see you. "
I WAS watching out for idiots......... i looked both ways before i fucking crossed i waited for the car i saw to stop and it did and i crossed
there is nooooooooooooooooo being safe likke that sucks, no matter how careful you are, you're always a target for something like what are we all just walking around with fucking giant targets on our backs?

I guess it just makes you realize, "so thats how it happens huh" it just does you just die you are just minding your own fucking business and you get killed like, theres no premonitions no " bad feelings" its just happens in 2 seconds and you're dead.

ANyways sorry i don't feel like talking to you, guess i'm treating you like shit or something, sorry
maybe i'll go take a bath. maybe the cat will somehow drag the toaster to the tub when i dont notice and some how drop it in and this universe will finish me off

i don't think i ALMOST died, i'm just bitter about idiots, and stupid shitty fucking feelings.
ughhhh i would like to become mute i think for like a year. see where it gets me

anyways, while i ponder depressing thoughts, here are some appalling facts to feast your eyes upon:

-The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.
-China banned the pigtail in 1911 as it was seen as a symbol of feudalism.
-Before it was stopped by the British, it was the not uncommon for women in some areas of India to choose to be burnt alive on their husband's funeral pyre.
-Ivan the terrible claimed to have 'deflowered thousands of virgins and butchered a similar number of resulting offspring'.
-Coffee is the second largest item of international commerce in the world. The largest is petrol.
-Peter the Great had the head of his wife's lover cut off and put into a jar of preserving alcohol, which he then ordered to be placed by her bed.
-The women of an African tribe make themselves more attractive by permanently scaring their faces.
-Marie Currie, who twice won the Nobel Prize, and discovered radium, was not allowed to become a member of the prestigious French Academy because she was a woman.
-Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill 'if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee'. His reply …' if you were my wife, I would drink it ! '.
-During the seventeen century , the Sultan of Turkey ordered his entire harem of women drowned, and replace with a new one.

here are some nice facts:
-The two highest IQ's ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women.
-Urine was once used to wash clothes.
-Paul Revere was a dentist
-Elizabeth Blackwell, born in Bristol, England on 3 February 1821, was the first woman in America to gain an M.D. degree.
-Atilla the Hun is thought to have been a dwarf.
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