Calories 460

I realize now I seemed poetic and mysterious and deeply a'brood because I was trying to conceal the direction and general concept/point of most things. I realize that I haven't become boring, and that leaving out details would only vindicate me for as long as I could remember things so passive aggressively for.

you know like when everyone cared, sort of, about stuff, kind of?
right

and you're like sending these sort of subliminal messages to people you knew because they would read it. but like,
you wanted them to wonder

"is this about me?..."
NOPE it's PROBABLLLYYY not
but it's an ego boost to wonder

(actually, this is about me)

And then this weird thing happens where everyone kind of grows up and they all kind of go pangaea (how clever) on everyone else, and they all split apart and form their own countries and continents in their own little worlds.
It's a totally different world now, and while they engage in the path of total exclusiveness, they inveitably exclude those who have not totally abandonned ship (or grasped the understanding) of this entire process.
Then at the same time they find new people, or keep specific ones, and they place them on this little island and then the next thing you know you're having a conversation like this:

"Have you seen Jennifer around? Is she still dating Ken?"
"Ohh, geeze, um, I actually have no idea... I haven't talked to her in a while, we don't hang out anymore really.."
"Really! that's so weird! how come?"
"_____________"

And you're like, what DID happen to me and Jennifer? And you're like, nothing, that's right.
And then you're like, that sucks the most.
nothing.
And then you feel moments or like centuries of depression and then you forget about it or something or wish you were dead or at least a vegetable so you don't have to think about stuff like that anymore or even remember anything
who REALLY wants to remember anyways?

Anyways, anyways? Anyways

"Congratulations!

On all of your skdskfdksjdslfjdsljsd
I wish you the best on all of your edeavors so dfjdsofssdf;dsfkjdsf
Hope we can dfjsoifjsdfj soon!"

Sincerely
whoooooooooooooo
caaaaaaaaaares

You can take my place, if you want

Sincerely
whooooooooooooo cares

You can take their place if you want to

Sincerely
WHO
CARES

i will struggle through life, most likely and choose not to be depressed about it and that's going to be what I live for
Trying to evade depression!

It's funny that people live with the cards their dealt, and some people are just going to breeze through live the easiest way available

I don't care what you'll live for
I don't care how much money you make
I don't care about what car you'll drive
I don't care about where you'll live
I don't care about who you'll marry
I don't care about what you'll accomplish by the time you're ___

But maybe I do
But then it's like, IF I don't care, who is going to?
And if no one really cares, then what's the fucking point?
Did you impress yourself? Because no one else CARES


This wasn't supposed to be long,
or shitty,
but it was both!

Ahhhhhh, yes

Sincerely,

whooooooooo
fucking
cAAAAAAAARES

get drunk

Hark! Whales......

Like I could go crazy and stuff and say something crazy and do something crazy
but I have the feeling that I assume smoking weed gives people with problems right now
I feel like puking for ever being concerned about any of this because probably one day
I'm going to WISH I had shit this little and insignificant to "deal" with or worry about

Time to turn my concerns onward to something a little bit more relevant...
A... JOB?

But while I'm here I guess I could mull things over a bit

SJHDSFHDSFDS
DF SDJFSD09GUFDGJDFSGSJDG;KDJ;JFD9GUERJ DSJGFDG90ERG GFDGDF
FDGDFGSJL;GJDSFG9RESGJGKSJFDG;SFDJGS;DFKJHSDFHSDFHSDFHSSDHDFHF

I DON'T CARE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DFKJGDF9GDJFGKFDJGKSDJFS;KDJGSDFKGJSDFGSFDG

TURN OFF THE SUCK AISOJDdsadkasdksafd
fdfndsfsdfnsofiewf9ewthHDOFHADSOFIHASDFJDSAFASDLFKJASDIFAEJFOFHDSIGHGFJHA;JDFA

COULD YOU ALL LIIIE ANY MORE THAN YOU ALREADY DO?????????????// ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/// SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11??????????????

whew, for a minute, I lost myself

It times like these that I miss Wasi the most.. probably because you never got any bullshit from him, you could take everything at face value, why are there no humans like that around?
He didn't flirt around with some people, he didn't have favorites, or make you feel more insecure than another
Sometimes he liked people and sometimes he didn't........
Sometimes he liked to bite kittens necks, and sometimes he liked to clean them....
And no one had a problem with that!
Because at least when he was trying to starve the kittens to death,
he was honest about it.

And that made everything okay

miss you miss you miss you bud........... (@)


I should be finishing a mid term (starting)... 1pm was me and kate waking up early........
I've wasted so much time here sleeping.. 3pm 4pm 330pm 250pm 5pm
But at the same time I guess not because I love sleeping and I'm happy

what happens when you lose some pressure?

you're pretty not that it matters cause you know this isn't beauty and the beast shit
(I don't believe in either one)
You don't touch you grip I've noticed this and I know you know that I'm an elitist-
and I just think you're cool!

here:




You know that I would love to see you next year
I hope that I am still alive next year
You magnify the way I think about myself
before you came I rarely thought about myself

you know that I would love to see you in that dress
I hope that I will live to see you undressed
the every day is part of what consumes me
the hate I feel is part of what fuels me

I like to wait to see how things turn out
If you apply some pressure

What happens when you lose everything?
you just start again, you start all over again

I hope that I am still alive next year

HARDWIRE

har har

I am going to be single for the rest of my life
80% choice, 20% chance

GOOD.

I don't even LIKE girls

GOOD. I don't even LIKE being nice

GOOD.

I don't even LIKE talking

GOOD.

GOODGOODGOOD

I'm tired but I feel worse when i'm sleeping

ODDLY ENOUGH... I feel like cooking something..... and like, uh
I don't even know how to cook

Right now Price is Right is on and so far none of them made it passed the first round
I hate feeling sad for people I don't even know

Maybe I'll call Cyndi tonight, I don't really feel like wasting another day
I just hate the whole leaving process.... I miss Tiffany being involved in that friendship
she talks better than I do, I barely know how to talk at all
I should of been deaf and I should of been a son..

UGGHH IFF III guessed 800 and someone guessed 801 and won, I would start puking... that's sooo fucking cheap

I should do laundry I should clean my room I should be studying
I'll end up doing none of these things, and then look for opportunities to get drunk
when I find none I'll be in bed by 10pm like everynight, and I will wake up at 6am
where my day will start again, the exact same!
Maybe I'll get into more youtube comment fights, there's my entertainment for the day

Actually, I'm just going to stay out of this, and, you're welcome.
I feel like screaming "I TOLD YOU SO"
I want to live in san Fransisco..................
I also want to eat Pad Sew until I die but who doesn't?
I'm not ready for this uhuhuhuhuhuh I never was and now look
IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I
TOLD
YOU
SO

I should probably get some groceries.. as much as i dig living off of mini bagles and potato salad...

anyway, I'm gonna go do something probably not productive but wishful thinking

bye